People think that chemistry between two new romantic partners is needed to start a relationship. But having chemistry is often just lust or might be mirroring. Often, these relationships ended badly and were usually painful throughout.
In this episode of The Muddy Path podcast, we will discuss the misconception of having chemistry and its negative results. We will also talk about the relevance of relationships built on compatibility.
Debunking Relationship Chemistry
Chemistry, on a superficial level, is just lust. There are two specific levels of chemistry we will talk about. Number one is lust, and number two is what we need to worry about because you tend to dive in quickly and break the boundaries.
Compatibility Over Chemistry
It is much better to meet someone who you are compatible with. Because, in this case, you will develop passion, trust, and love. That will be slow, not as intense, but deeper.
Caught up In Lust
Later on, people who only have lust at the beginning of their relationship often say their partner is good-looking, but they’re ugly inside. It was built on what we call chemistry, mirroring, or manipulation.
If you build a passion for compatibility, sets of hormones will be released over time. It's not intense and quick; it's just at a normal healthy rate that you get to know someone and find them attractive. And this is where you're now looking at them, not through rose-colored glasses but a very clear lens.
We will often have experiences where we see something in front of us. And we're not used to it. But it's because our trauma is keeping us from the healthy thing. And our healing process is where we begin to get a glimpse of it. But we have to continue with that healing process.
Having a Breakup
Breakups happen even if you’re compatible. If you break up with someone who trusts, loves, and cares about you, even if there was a fracture at the end of the relationship, they will treat you with much more respect, and you will do the same.
If you are single and looking for a relationship, please start with compatibility and take things slowly. When you feel something going fast and intense, try to pull back. And if the person is respectful, they stay connected to you and give you that space.
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