Single women, listen up.
Warning signs that you’ve met a narcissistic man.
“`Disclaimer: I speak to a mainly female community, and most clients are female, so this is why the pronouns are such.
Alter your situation, and it will still make sense.
Some men are so insecure that they appear arrogantly confident, full of themselves, and think they are the hottest thing since the sun.
- They think that their babble is prose.
- They think that espousing ignorance is the same as intellect.
- …and they believe that you should feel the same about them.
Run, don’t walk from them.
If you find yourself faking smiles or “lol” on texts, or you see they are trying to bait compliments from you, you don’t have time for that.
This uneasy feeling that you have is because you are detecting red flags.
This is a sign you’ve met a narcissistic male.
The incessant flirting is called “Love Bombing”.
Love Bombing is trying to manipulate you into being controlled by them; they may want nothing more than to flirt when they are bored, or they may want to “hook up” or abuse you financially.
Either way, they want your body, mind, spirit, wallet, or all of the above.
I speak to many women and have experienced this myself.
The energy they put into superficial, uninspiring flirting should be spent in a therapy room.
Still, these guys think that a few self-help books equate to having a Ph.D. in psychology, so.. they won’t go to therapy either UNLESS they see the therapist as just another energy to vampire off of. They are “above” that.
These men flirt so much that you realize they’d flirt with a tree stump. It has nothing to do with you. They just flirt as a vehicle to get attention, energy, and manipulation tool.
They hope you are as superficial and needy as they are and would love if you are also vulnerable enough to fall for their antics.
They need attention because they are emotionally stunted.
Mature men are too busy being adults to waste on flirting incessantly.
These men are insecure.
Not just a little insecure.
They need to prove to themselves and the world that they are (insert the opposite of their issue(s).
These are issues. Baggage that they are not unpacking and lug that baggage everywhere they go. It is not your job to unpack and pack their heavy luggage- it is their job.
Don’t get caught in the cycle of “helping them”. You’ve been taught to be supportive; that doesn’t mean mother then like they are a preteen.
Support means that you recognize someone who is being responsible, serious, and accountable in their life and respecting that.
If they can’t get past flirting and babbling nonsense, you need to run, not walk away.
There’s a quick test you can do. Say something steamy to them. If they don’t respond with how you make them feel, share something personal, or if they act like they are writing an ’80s romance novel, then they see intimacy as abstract. However, this test is only if you want to be sure and are mildly interested and very unsure. In a nutshell, if you are unsure, go with your gut.
You deserve better.
Being alone is better than being drained from an emotionally stunted man-child.
The Zen approach is to accept that suffering happens but also that you don’t need to invite suffering into your home, life, or space; you can watch it flow like a river right past you.
Practice the art of letting go and releasing.
Being Zen doesn’t mean you put up with crazy.
It means you respect that everyone is on a journey but also recognize that you are not on a group hike with every guy who flashes an empty smile at you.
By giving them the gift of your absence, they can find the right person who will enjoy being the audience to their circus.
You deserve more and are not wrong for having standards and boundaries.
That is the most Zen gift that you can give yourself.