Why #Harry and #Meghan, the #royalrebels, Struck A Chord in the World.

Why #Harry and #Meghan, the #royalrebels, Struck A Chord in the World.

If you look at any media today, and I assume, for the next few days, you’ll see the buzz about Harry and Meghan stepping down from their posts as senior members of the royal family.

This is big news. In the world today, we have conflicts in politics and among countries, devastating plane crashes and a country literally burning up in flames; and the news?

Meghan and Harry.

If you’ve followed the news at all, you already know the scoop; they want to be financially independent and under all of this, it’s not so much about money but about leaving the constraints of living as they have. For Harry, for his entire life.

He is actually leaving a lifestyle that might feel like a breath of fresh air to him; the lifestyle and tradition that was a precursor and indirect (or direct, depending upon your belief) of his own mother’s tragic and untimely death.

Here is why I think this is striking a chord in so many people.

If you talk to anyone, almost everyone has a story about an inlaw or family tradition or norm that they just do not agree with but feel an obligation to uphold.

As an example, think of the stress that many people go through just because they are obligated to attend a Christmas dinner with inlaws. This is just one small example.

Now, imagine you are in the public eye and every single day, your life is filled with schedules, new norms, and a lot of management by people who are your family but also your boss. 24/7/365.

In an interview that I saw not that long ago, Meghan was asked how she was doing, and after she answered that, she stated, (paraphrasing) that no one had even asked her that after the baby, and she thanked the reporter, with her eyes very teary and her face visibly emotional. That was the first clue that all was not right in her world, and the fairy tale of her life was perhaps, more a nightmare than anyone could imagine.

While many people dream of being a celebrity, or even a royal, the reality is, that we have the luxury of those dreams but also the luxury of being nondescript, anonymous, privacy-filled. An argument is that she was dating him and engaged and she knew what she was getting involved in, but before you judge, how many of us would leave our partners just because his mother and father expect us over on Christmas day?

Relationships are not always so clear cut.

I personally commend the couple for being strong, as a unit, as a team, and creating this boundary.

The more I hear about other royals being livid, seething or downright pissed off, the more I think “and this is exactly why they did what they did”. The very audacity that one should live life under the thumb of a tradition that works for some but not all means that they prefer the dysfunction rather than the health, of their family.

This isn’t unusual, unfortunately.

Most dysfunctional families have an unspoken code that orders the members of the said family to struggle in silence, keep the tradition and dynamic that the heads of the family have decided works, smile to the outside world, and make the family look good.

I don’t know if this is the case but the reality is, that Harry and Meghan have created a beacon of light for every couple who is struggling with instigators, boundary crossers and narcissists who refuse to leave them alone and let them live a life free of influence and constraint.

If you are interested in more information on taking the dysfunction out of your life and setting boundaries, visit www.youtube.com/michelepaiva

Michele Paiva, Psychotherapist/YouTube Creator

Photo: jared subia #jaredsubia

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